Baby  Everyday  Gifts  Holiday  Parties  Stationery  Wedding   Enter Email   We don't have to tell you that your wedding is one of the biggest and most important celebrations of your life! But do you realize that the first impression of your wedding day will all begin with your wedding invitation? When your guests receive your wedding invitation in the mail, they will get an idea of when, how, where and what your wedding day is going to be like. It's also nice when the invitations are somewhat reflective of the bride's and groom's personalities. Your invitation language hints at the wedding's level of formality, attire, religious ties, etc. If you want people to come to your wedding, choose your invitation very carefully! The Wedding Trousseau The Wedding Trousseau is the ensemble of papers personalized for your wedding events. All of the items that could be included are explained below, but not all are necessary for every bride. The standard trousseau includes the wedding invitation, reception card (in certain circumstances - see below for details) reply card & return envelope and informal note card (thank you notes). What you put in your trousseau will customize yours just for you! Save the Dates Save the Date announcements are a popular way to let family and friends know to reserve your wedding date in advance. Send your Save the Dates 6-8 months prior to your wedding. Invitations & Envelopes Invitations should be ordered four months before your wedding and mailed four to eight weeks before your wedding. Remember, your invitations are setting the tone for your wedding. When you mail them out more than eight weeks before your wedding, your invitation's first impression might not have as big of an impact. Reception cards are not always necessary. If your reception will follow at the same location as the ceremony, add "and afterwards at the reception" or "Reception immediately following" at the bottom of your invitation. It is proper to indicate that your wedding and reception are in different locations by using a separate card. Be sure to weigh your invitations at the post office for the proper amount of postage. The cost per invitation will depend on the size and shape of your invitation. Squares are automatically extra postage. This applies to square reply cards as well. You can be sure that between ordering and mailing your invitations, postal rates can rise again. It is a good idea to have your envelopes hand-cancelled at the post office to avoid the "tire tread" effect left behind by mechanical stamping machines. Hand canceling is especially important if your invitations include delicate materials, such as wax seals or beadwork. When ordering your invitations, count one invitation per household address, not per guest, unless that family includes adult children-in which case those children each get their own invitation. Order at least 10% more invitations than you think you will need and 10% additional envelopes. You may not think you will need them now, but you will! Mr., Mrs. and Dr. may be abbreviated - but no other short cuts are allowed. Your names should be spelled out-even you, "junior." Titles should be used consistently among the hosts, or not at all. Initials should not be used in names on invitations. Middle names are either in or out. Never include gift registry information on your wedding invitation or enclosures, or on any invitation for that matter-your family and members of your wedding party should pass on that information. For thoroughly modern couples who are hosting their wedding together, their names may appear first, but remember the cardinal rule of written correspondence-ladies, your name goes first. Invitation Wording A few things to remember first: "Request the honour of your presence" is the most formal and traditional wording. "Honour", spelled with "our" is also a British spelling and is used in combination with a wedding to take place in a house of worship. If you prefer, you may also use "honor". A common substitute for "request the honour of your presence" is "request the pleasure of your company". Generally, this is reserved for weddings not taking place in a house of worship. The use of middle names should be consistent throughout the invitation. If the bride uses hers, so should the groom and the hosts. When listing the time, "in the afternoon", "in the evening", etc. can substitute for "o'clock". FYI, technically, 4:30 is considered evening time. After the location of the ceremony, both the city and state should be listed,. unless the city is internationally recognizable, such as San Francisco, New York or Paris. If the reception is in the same location, a simple phrase at the bottom can be added, such as "and afterward at the reception" or "Reception to follow". If the reception is not immediately after the ceremony, additional information should be provided. "Together with their families" is a phrase that can be used when several families/individuals are hosting and there's not enough room to mention them all, or the bride and groom's parents are giving any amount of assistance. Reception Card If the Reception is being held at a separate location from the wedding, a separate card should accompany the invitation. If the Reception is not being held immediately following the ceremony, a separate card should accompany the invitation and additional information should be provided. The invitation to a reception after the wedding ceremony is printed on a small card that matches the paper and typestyle of the ceremony invitation. The card simply states that your guest is invited to the Reception, the time and location. If the reception is being held at the same location as the wedding, costs may be cut by including this on the Wedding Invitation. Reply Set Wording Along with your invitation, your basic invitation set includes a reply set or postcard for your guests to respond. When planning your reply language, decide on a reply deadline. Reply dates should be 2 to 4 weeks before the wedding date. If your caterer needs more time, they will let you know. A more formal approach to the reply is a blank card with the exception of "The favour of a reply is requested" along the top of the card. This format is ideal for guests who love to write notes and for brides who keepsake them! However, some guests may forget to write their name or other pertinent information. Therefore, this format may require more follow-up than the traditional format. Reply Envelope Your reply envelope should list the name and address of the person/s that are to receive the replies. Most commonly, this would the person who is inviting the guests to the wedding. Wedding Maps As a courtesy to your guests, include a map or written instructions to the ceremony and reception sites. Maps are available from your invitation stationer. Should you choose to compose and print the map yourself, keep in mind that photocopies are not considered acceptable. Stuffing Envelopes The invitations should be placed with the printed side up. The response card should be placed printed side up under the flap of the response envelope (never inside of it). The set should then be placed flap side up on top of the invitation. If there is a direction card it should be placed on top of the response set. If there is a reception card it should be placed on top of the direction card, or the response set if there is no direction card. All pieces should be placed printed side up. Then the entire set should be placed printed side up into the envelope so that when it is opened from the back flap the printed side is facing up. Sealing Your Envelopes High quality envelopes are made with costly and very hard glue that prevents envelopes from sticking together before they are sealed. To easily seal your envelopes follow these simple steps. Use lukewarm water. Use a sponge applicator. Lightly wipe the glue line on 3 to 5 envelopes at a time. Press flaps down immediately, then stack 3 to 5 envelopes, press and hold again. When linings and thick invitations are used, extra pressure and time may be required to "set" the glue. Addressing Do’s and Don’ts Use titles consistently. Courtesy titles may be abbreviated, such as Mr., Mrs. and Dr. All guests should be titled or not. Initials should not be used for middle names. Leave them in or out. However, if a guest never uses his or her first given name, do not use it in the address. An initial is acceptable here. For formal invitations, abbreviations should not be used for Street, Drive, Avenue, Apartment, or for cities and states. Abbreviations can be appropriate for informal invitations. Street numbers under 20 should be written out. Children and guest escorts should not be mentioned on outer envelope, unless you are using single envelopes only. If you know who your guest will be bringing, include their name in your address. Children over the age of 18, still living at home, should each receive their own invitation. Adults not romantically involved, living in the same household, should each receive their own invitation. Mailing Invitations Invitations should be mailed four to six weeks before the wedding. If many of your guests live in other states, or if the wedding is on a holiday, consider mailing the invitations eight weeks prior to the wedding. This courtesy will allow time for your guests to make the necessary travel arrangements. Be sure to weigh the complete invitation to ensure correct postage, and to confirm whether the envelope is considered standard or oversized by the United States Post Office. Always take the invitations in to the post office and have them hand cancelled. Do not purchase stamps until you have assembled a complete set and check with the post office. Ceremony Programs Ceremony programs are growing in popularity: Not only do they help personalize the event, they assist guests of other religious denominations understand and follow your service. Programs include the order of the ceremony, the names of all of the bridal party, parents, the officiant, readers, the source of readings, musicians, vocalists, titles and composers of songs. You may choose to include details about traditions honored during your ceremony. The program is often a perfect place to remember family or friends by dedicating a special poem, prayer or sentiment. Pew Cards Pew cards are for family members and intimate friends who are seated in specially designated pews at the ceremony. They are typically 2" x 3" and simply state the pew number or "Within the ribbons." Pew cards may be mailed with the invitations, or may be sent out or hand-delivered once attendance is confirmed. Place Cards Place cards help your guests find which table they are seated at and are usually blank or printed with your name with space for your guests' names and table number, if they aren't already placed on the table. This is great when you have a special seating arrangement and you want your guests to find their place without any problems. They are also helpful in letting your caterers know who is having the chicken or the vegetarian option. You may tie different colored ribbons on the place cards or use stickers to indicate the different meal choices your guests have made. At Home Cards At home cards are given to friends and relatives to inform them of the address of the newly married couple. These cards measure approximately 4" x 2-1/2". For clarity it is best to state your married name on the first line, followed by the date by which you will be at the new address. For example: Mr. and Mrs. Alexander will be at home after the twenty-second of June 1234 Myrtle Street Anytown, California 90909 Wedding Announcements Wedding announcements should be mailed the day of the wedding, or the day after, but may be sent up to a year after the wedding has taken place. George Harrison and Barbara Smith, if she's keeping her name, or Mr. and Mrs. George Harrison announce, you can say "announce the happy news of their nuptials" or "We are happy to announce that on January 1, 2002 we were married at Santa Barbara at the Church of the Holy Ghost, Santa Barbara, California". Below that will be the new residence and new telephone number. Or you can just make it as personal as you want to and just say, "We finally did it. We did it in a little church that we know and love". You can ham it up with announcements. Etiquette | Online Ordering Home | About | Links | Testimonials